Twinkle twinkle little star !!!

Life has bountiful to offer...It taught me very single moment and it continues to do so.. Sometimes I wonder what had I done in life..it had to treat me like this...
Why should I go through all this humiliation ?? In spite of having all possible required things , why should I be the one to suffer all this..
Only answer, God chose me to face this..HE found me strong enough to go through all this...I am THE Chosen one...what am I doing this way?
what am I achieving...?? Two years of my life ....some 10 years before...you live in an illusion..you feel used..and then you never understand why this ever happened in your life.

Man proposes and God disposes they say; somehow it happens for good..
an overwhelming feeling, a burden bogs me down at this moment. I just remember all the occurrences - series of events all way through. I think I am born to go through this. somethings which appear so beautiful only in imaginations..only in dreams..when they come to reality they are so fake..so much so..that you get disgusted even at the thought of those. I seriously wonder if I would ever like to keep the memory of this happenings.


I have done the weirdest things in my life...this week was a mess..The things which people will think twice before doing..morally/ethically/socially acceptable???
Million dollar questions.You start wondering at this stage ..how do you define these words..again coming to a conclusion that everything is relative. This thought comes when you cross all the boundaries..and reach a horizon, when it hardly ever matters to you...you get cheated and duped...but these words don't matter much.
You understand the topic is closed "end of topic" to be precise in his words; the chapter is closed.
Relations never can be pulled and made, they just happen...why do they have names...names/definitions all relative..only to make your lives simple..as Sir says "Human beings tend to find meaning in whatever they sense" !!

Quite true!! Just like the constellations...
The sun signs..Sagittarius/Scorpio..etc etc..
the ones those we saw on the night of 22nd Jan..what a night it was...pitch dark.. 45mins of deep meditation solace, never felt like opening the eyes. When I opened my eyes...realization of the outer world made me nervous...
I was lucky enough..God had sent me an angel, HE knew I needed some help to handle that state of my mind. Those merciful warm hands...lifting my cheeks up, consoling me.. Grabbing my arms to run in the night sky, watching those stars...I felt I went some 20 years back...Some moments are only yours...The LRC study after that..I never studied...but what a night it was...And also the evening on the 26th of Dec...our church trip...the tonga/the food the trod on the dark path..everything was amazing..one after the other a series of events all in those 40 mins...I felt as if I have lived my life in those moments...
I wouldn't have written my midterms w/o him. It was just just not possible.
Stars tell it all..you meet someone, its on the stars, you are stuck with someone- again the stars. They decide your destiny. They give you power to live, to think and to decide. They govern your life !!!

Thanks for the friend who made me realize this power of stars !!!


"Twinkle twinkle little star
How I wonder where you are;
Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky !!!"

Right Place, Right time...

I was reading a chapter in marketing today- integrating channels and advertising. This particular line struck me...and I started thinking, it's so much true, after all life is all about that. Actually I feel like most of the management subjects are connected with each other, most of them either talk about the contribution margins and the return on investment. What are doing with ourselves- taking as little risk as possible and expected the most out of it..low risk, high return strategy. In fact it can be said, most of the management's strategies are interlinked with life. Every person should do management in his/her life at least once. It teaches a lot about some things in life that we have taken for granted, removes certain misconceptions we have been carrying all way through.



Everything in life is predetermined , I feel. Destiny is there, I became a believer in destiny after a lot of deliberation, somethings which occur in life, which have no reasoning, somethings which are just there, without any logic. In meditation these days, I am getting a lot of answers to most of my questions...Its the karma; karma of your life that is heading you towards a particular thing or goal. When we start heading towards a particular goal, or work, its our karma which gets ys going. Just remember how many times in your life, you have done things just like that, you didn't really know exactly, why you behaved in a particular way or a particular manner.



The other day sir told a psychological case in meditation. I related myself to it so much. Most of his dictions I do relate to...this was something which I had really experienced. The case of a young lady, who falls who has a girlie crush over her brother-in-law while a walk on a trip. A walk in the woods, when most of their tastes match, aptitudes match. Sometimes, you just like someone, you just have no reasoning why are you getting attracted to that personality, when you know you have downright inhibitions which are going to prevent you from attain in the same. And then knowing that the thought was unethical, she wipes it off her mind ...though it penetrates into her mind deeper and deeper, is always in her subconscious thought. Her sister dies, few years down the line, and then st the same moment she feels that now that he is free she can marry him. Ohh !! such a dirty feeling, so unpious, she feels, She is ashamed of her thought again, knowing that this is not the way she should be thinking. But mind ...who can help....So there she tries harder to wipe it off the mind once again....She gets crippled, because of the same..Astounding?
doesn't it sound like that? Yes but sir, reasoned out, its because that she had those feelings when they met first and something had happened over the walk..the memory of the same, is haunting her...When she realizes the same, and let the crush go off, its then that her paralysis goes off..and she is back to normal..
So true, a story relating me to my past, remembering me of the sprain in my leg...yes I have experienced it !!! and it is not wonderful, not at all.
but these things happen, why no answer, but they do...they have to..!

The recent terrorist attacks in Mumbai, those 101 incorporeal souls and still countings, I wondered what they have done for they to be so mercilessly murdered. Sir had an answer for that. And I could relax my mind , only to learn that they are only paying off their karma, and we need not fill much about it.

Perhaps, they were just in the "Wrong place, wrong time... !!"

But then it doesn't mean either, that we just sit back and relax..destiny is written, but we have to read it also...

"The two most important requirements for major success are: first, being in the right place at the right time, and second, doing something about it"
-Ray Kroc, Mcdonalds ( one of the most popular management illustrations !!)

Projections and Relations

Why should others see me as they want to see...?
Why should I see myself in others...??
Why should people like and hate each other..???

All such questions do have an answer. The answer is projections. It was this point on which we lost our grades in the OB presentation. We gave all but this reason. OB presentation ..it is a different story to write about. We would have actually prepard a case on it...but just left the idea , just not to personalize things.

Sometimes I think why don't I write immediately after I feel. Yes..I should do that. Writing requires a lot of spontaneity. Getting the same mood to write about an incident is so difficult. Time passes, and so do emotions. And when you don't have enough emotions, the write-up turns out to be a blunt knife.

Day before yesterday, night actually. I felt so down, humiliated. Had a marketing case to do. I just sat mechanically throughout the entire discussion. Felt like telling my friend, to please excuse me that day. But I decided to hold on myself. Everyone has emotions, and you need to keep control on them. Venting out should be done at the right time, right place and in front of right person. So I came back to my room around 12.30 am. I banged and shut the door. Thank God my roomie was not there. Sometimes I believe God understands my need to be alone !! I put on the radio. It has been a coincidence for me or anything else you might call it as. But the radio plays the exact song , when I am in such troubled waters. ..Tadap tadap ke is dil se aah nikalti rahi..mujhko saja di pyar ki aisa kya gunha kiye..ki loot gaye........I changed..and I cried loudly, just like a kid. I washed my face, arranged the wardrobe, finished with my crunches, all with tears, hot and salty, and threw myself into bed. It had been months since I cried. The night before too, I had come after a hot discussion with him, it too had ended on such a serious note, and I felt good that I had finally gotten rid of what had happened. I just wanted him to know..know actually what the scene was..

Next morning he had surrendered. Wished me luck for exam and I thoguht the matter would end, we would talk something better over the the eve and be ready for an exhausting week ahead. But that was not destined to happen. Till the last minute things seemed pretty OK, but in the end we had flints. He said, "If you cant do even such a little thing for me, its ok, its end of topic then". Time and again , I had been convincing him , I would do but he cant force me into something I was never. The conversation again got heated up, I talked rude, and left...left only to be felt humilitated, insulted. I never had thought ever in my life , I would have to undergo this. All my life I had strived to preserve my sanctity, my space and my virtues. But I understood, now its just not being what I like, I do..but its being together..
At some points I do feel, its very natural of him to feel that way, to expect things from me, but then why was I hesitating...not to acknowledge the fact, but to commit..to commit for improvement. There was a certain flip side to the story as well.

What if I was not this..what if I was not that??? Can't you like somebody just like that? For no reason. Is there any need to have common thoughts, common goals, common physiques for people to bond togther. We can differ, right?? But no!! The society doesnt allow that. Everyone has a opinion for any damn thing you do in life. I do respect the foresaken rules of the society, and that if you need to live in society, you need to adapt by its principles and procedures. But why then life should become so cumbersome, if the societal rules were fair enough to everyone. If I am not expecting anyone to change, if I am accepting things as they are, then why can't people behave in the same manner towards me?? Why is it that only the fairer sex has to blend- for better or worse?? Why can't we be more assertive ?? I did that..I tried to be..but over the course I realized that I am losing on the relationship. And when you value the relation more than your principles, the objectivity and rationality gets clouded. I cried that day, only to prove this fact.

And look what I am doing now..I am striving to satisfy peoples' projections. To look as they want me to...to behave as they wish me too...Over the journey, I have realized that its a waste of time, striving hard to make others realize what you are and what you are not, to prove to othere your worth. Who are they to judge and who are they to decide?? everythingis a matter of relativity. Everything is relative to the place, people around, relative to time. Its just about being in the right place, at the time, and with the right people..everything else is nuts !! Hard for me to implement...yeasterday we patched up, of course he taking the initiative, and again I value my relation more ...

I advise though, in any relation , its imperative to find if you are liked as you are, or the projection you are displaying to continue the relation...
For the time being, I submit myself to the second option, but beware not always...



Just the beginning of the topic...!!!

Untouched.........

I felt the urge strongly to put this down. I like the silence in the mess when no one is around. I had gone early...wanted to enjoy my cup of tea...looking outside the window..with the trickles of drops...all the afternoon..I could the watch the rain from the library windows..it hadnt stopped all the afternoon.and seemed like it wont...I decided to get drenched all the way to the canteen...it wasn't far after all.
Silence is solace. It helps you to introspect so much. Staying away from the hustle and bustle of the city, it is a bliss in way. Though at times we curse for it..But being in the company of nature is truly a bliss. When I get up in the morning a cloudy sky awaits me...The farms around..the greenery calls me to strode in it...when I start for my walk, I feel the earth is ready to put on her show..a beautiful sight of the narrow main road over the horizon, Panchubhai getting ready for the day...his tea shop on both the sides..The security watchman greeting me..the maids sweeping the garden. Life hadn't asked for more.

The drops had something to say. They were telling something from yesterday..I was listening ..I was interpreting...something which my mind was constantly hinting at..Its amazing actually. Whatever you have to say, you feel, why the nature has to reciprocate the same feelings ..why you start interpreting in your own convenient ways...you take it for granted...all things happening around are happening for you..reflecting your mental state. I have to write an exam tomorrow..still I am writing this ...its been so strong..

Why did I say what I said ...and I am not at all sorry for that. I do not regret. Why had I to be so harsh to him ? Was it the subject itself..or was it the background that I carried days before..I had been possesive. Why relations make you so possesive ? I am trying to reason out. Why are relations so complex? What does a mere touch hold...a soothing touch ..a friendly touch...an ecstatic touch...and untouched !!! Should I be so possesive....And even if I shouldn't be, then even this thought is not satisfying.
I kept thinking even after talking to my closet friend. She convinced me for the moment and then even then I rolled back on the same issues. Why had I held back myself so long..why had I all this principles in the world? Why should I remain so abstained? Does that really count? Really matter? I know only belief matters..but does that mean just you say and that's over. How do you keep integrity?



Is it like the drops of water falling over the ground..so pristine ...so pure ..untouched...then losing its existence to the pond, losing its individuality and becomes one with it. Doesn't that count in a relation? Don't we have to have any protocols..I wish to be like the drops of water pristine and pure..untouched...and now at least if I expect the same from him..is it wrong? Why did I mix my emoitons...wanted to blurt out something else and it ended up in something else.

Diverse backgrounds..diverse values..long distance relationships...parenal pressures..how long am I stand this...why is life like this...I have stopped feeling bad and good about anything..nothing makes a difference now. Stopped feeling strongly about anything. I don't even know if what I did ..did it right? Or then had I any other option.

Why does life has to hold so many questions all at one moment? And why have you to just keep the faith going? With no foundations..imaginary bonds..all in the air.
Insecurity always remains...what if that bond gets broken...who has seen tomorrow ?


Any answers???

Infusing Young Blood in Indian Politics

A humorous quote by our former prime minister A.B.Vajpayee : " A politician is born at the age of 50, attains teenage at the age of 60, and becomes young at the age of 70". Right from the when our country became free, Indian politics is highly dominated by octogrerarain ministers, most of whom are still aspirants for the post of prime minister. With due reverence to their knowledge, work and experience earned over the years, I would still like to confrnt that to enable India accelerate yhe rate at which it is going around 9 p.a., India deserves a better young leadership. Aged personalities with their outdated visions and limited physical capabitlites can hardly pace up with the rate at which global economy is growing.

In the present cabinet of Union Ministers, as also in the state governments we are having lot of miministers and MPs like Rahul gandhi, Jyotiraditya Scindia, sachin Pilot, Priya dutt, Supriya sule, to mention a few, representing the fresh blood and fresh face of Indian political scenario. This advent is certainly a ray of hope of India's future. The youth brigade is armoured with highly qualifying degrees, from India or abroad and enriching work experience in their respective fields, is highly willing to take over the leadership of the nation. this picture is highly motivating and inspiring. young leaders have a broad vision, a novel positive outlook to look at things in the today's world, zeal to compete with the rapidly developing economy and long cherished dream to enable India as a well-developed nation down the line.

This has led to massive recruitment drive, seeking to draw in youth in politics across the country. Earlier politics was restricted to certain strata & sections of the society, but now the view by which an ordinary man looks at politics has undergone a substantial change. There is a hope that these young leaders will make the system more transparentand not m,erely work to enhance their votebanks; therby building a sense of trustin the commoners and strengthening the principle of democracy on which the indian government system is based.

At this point, I would like to mention that when on the global stage we have the US residential aspirant Obama, international leaders like Gordon Brown , Nicolas Sarzoky in their late 50s, back home, India will see a 37 year old Rahul pitting against an 82-year old Advani !! I feel the veterans should now take a back seat and let the reins of the government in the hands of the young blood, guiding them with thei8r experience.


After all, the age old adage goes..."New broom sweep well" !!!

*My speech at he interview of placecom in IMT

Gurukul ???

Hmmm...its been long since I am posting on this..
No no..that doesn't mean I had no time to write...Time I had lots...and matter also lots...so much had happend in life..and so much was in anticipation...Its like sometimes god gives you so much at a time...that you just don't know how to handle it all..so much joy..so much sorrow..But I had none..neither joy nor sorrow...just happening, incidents..one after the other... One thing is for sure...
In due course life gave me lot to ponder upon, lot to think on...experiences that will enrichen my life even further..

Leaving something in the hand, when you are not even sure you are going to get anything better..just on the intuition, the inner voice which tells ..go..get going..!!I was sure I was not going to stand the IT life any more..Not that it was bad..but it was not made for me..and the worst part is you cannot convince the society...something which is so abstract..so uncertain..you cannot ask the others to believe in you...why will they..or rather why should they..

But this was not exactly bothering me,somewhere deep down the mind, I was thoroughly sure, this will work out. I was so uninterested in seeking other jobs..did things just for doing its sake...finally after a long long wait things worked out...God's grace...and yes now I am here..

When you really want something to happen, the whole universe conspires so that your wish comes true.
- Alchemist

Why have I started liking this adage so much...no clue..but somehow I have become a staunch believer in this dictum.

Talking about the life over here, not much has been exhilarating. though I am satisfied with what I am doing, the work, the subjects...and the satiation of curious soul...other than that..everything is so incomplete...
The culture especially...very hard to get along...indigestible.In this secluded clean environment, I feel so alone..apart from the outer world, not that I was very social and outgoing, but still I find I am much beyond all this...something which these people have not understood, or perhaps not even thought of. I had alwasy this feeling in mind, something like you are much ahead of your times, your generation. People may label me as they wish..but its later they realise, something was striking, perhaps ahead of times.
I need to get adjusted to those, be flexible, humble.

With humility and love, flexibility becomes natural.

Expression: In order to be flexible we need to have the virtue of humility. With humility we will be willing to understand the people around and their behaviour. Then we will also be able to have love for them. This automatically brings flexibility within us.

Experience: When we come across people who are not being cooperative, we need to become humble and try to understand what the they are communicating, if not through words at least through their actions. When we are able to listen with love andunderstanding, we will no more be rigid but can easily adapt ourselves.

Professional education doesn't necessarily mean you lose the pious purpose of education alltogether. Just as in the OB class today ..we learnt ethics are much a part of business...and no one can stand long term unethically...hope these guys out here understand...

I have lot of hopes carryng, lot to achieve, not to prove to others, but to myself...
I will try my best !!!
Good Luck to me ....

Testing Times...

This wait is killing..I never waited this long even for my borad exams..my results..none. I feel as if I am neither on earth nor in the sky; somewhere in the middle, hanging with some parachute. I look at the terrain, I see valleys, if I happen to fall in any of those..life would be in the dark, loopholes and I guess I would nevr be able to get out of it anytime, and even if I do by that time I would have wasted most years of my life, and then my ambitions, destinations start appearing dull, blurred and distant journey. I wish I cling to this parachute some more..till someone catches hold of me..into their flight and takes me to the reuired destination. They say hope floats...how long!!

This is perhaps the most testing time in my life...most consuming. god has given me everything after a long wait. My love..a long wait..My Engg results ..a long wait..My board results much much a longer wait. Why all the good things in life come after waiting so much. But this waiting period is terrible... you lose all the patience you have everyday; Only to get up the next day..ask yourself what is in the basket for today; build up some more courage to endure the crunches that life will offer for the day and keep wondering with each sunset..alas one day is gone in the history. I don't know how many days of our lives we miss..spend with no reason..and at the end life is over.


I believe God gives us these moments only to realize his existence. The existence of the divinity. You have to answerable to hundred things..hundred people..for no reason. Do certain things..that you are damn sure are not going to help you in any way. But giving no excuses you have to do them..You know you are wasting time..again..and precious time of life. you got to be going somewhere..but you are stuck in here for no reason. God ..god please ...please help me come out of this dreaded predicament..they are killing me here..I wish top get out as early as possible..Sometimes you feel death would be better than this.

Yesterday (4th May) I went to the writer's meet. To my surprise, met an old colleague over there. He had left the organisation almost six months back...was working as a free-lance somewhere...good amount of guts I thought. What I had been thinking of... all these days..much to my surprise ..this guy is already upto it. Great Man.. ..only if I could have guts like him. These people are making my life from bad to worse.

And I know I have written the worst ever post of my life life..with no consistency whatsoever. I can't write worse than this... Let me stop at this !!!


Everything in life is temporary…
Darkness of the night or brightness of the day
Even sunrise is temporary… And so is sunset.
If things are going good enjoy it… It won’t last forever
And if things are going bad
Don’t worry coz it won’t last forever either.
Everything just passes by…