The Inner Voice

Dressing up for office early morning ....I got remembered what's the date today....25 th June..my memory answered...I knew this date had some event in my life associated with it....someone somewhere I met...some talk...some landmark...my mind began recollecting...My mood was quite ok....I mean somewhat consoled........last week I do not know, but I knew I was a little disturbed; getting fussy over small things, hardly being able to concentrate.

At this stage of life I really find it so difficult not to hide my emotions and stay away from al the anxieties and desperations that life has to award. I had decided to give it some time...but I know I was wandering like a straw wavering in the wind..I had become too obvious and my face had started depicting each and every emotion that my reflected..it had become my mirror. I am hating this change in me..I am supposed to be a very calm and composed lass, balanced in all walks of life, unshuffled by the pressures of life. I had become obstinate..demanding, even when I knew that life has very less to offer, that way....I should not be like this ....some change is invoking me..deliberately trying to nullify my senses and make me lose my identity.

Yesterday however was good enough...rather..I thanked myself for giving the life a moment...a moment for someone to miss me...and realize then..yes they cared..they cared for me...and I was not on the verge of extinction. Our thoughts are different, aptitudes are different..still there happens to be some string that binds us together...I leave it for life to hold this string or let go. I really don't know, why have I to be so vulnerable...but yes, ther are certain thingsin life that you can't take care of..and there and then you start realizing your shortcomings...you fakeness of ideas..and before your dreams shatter away..there has to be something that should keep the spark glowing...! Enough ..I thought...some more time it desrves before it realizes that I am worthy enough....let's see!

Anyway what I recollected was this date marks the completion of 2 years of my association with this company...Nops !!..I don't mean to say that I completed 2 years working....just I remember my campus placement...the rains out...with all of anticipating the aptitude test result...thereafter the 50 min technical interview..mostly on my mini-project..and the 20 min HR ..wonderful..around 6 we got the result...and I was in air..that time(How innoent I was ..I realize now...still..!!!the show must go on!!). It had been my "Sankashthi"...had a tough fight with Mom...in morning before leaving...nothing I had..and then there was Dad ..carrying the tiffin for me..had called Mom when the apti got cleared...and then even then..in my "HR" form ..I had mentioned 'B'glore','G'gaon' and 'K'lta'; I had been too hard for myself...a tough decision to make...but I donno why..I was somehow convinced about that ...ny future was not there..I have to see the world...its ways...and learn to deal with it...face people, situations, and crisis. Being a girl. it was not going to be a bed of roses..I knew..then..I had ied to Mom...Dad..then....I had this pricking in me when I touched "Mom's" feet...but somehow..I knew...it was "Chaturthi" that day..and Ganesha won't put me in wrong.
I wanted to see "life", feel it, touch it...........give it a thought..Alas!!!

It was a wise decision ..I guess...Everything has being fine since then...I got through all the calamities..and being strong enough to face life...I introspect...!!!




Life teaches you more than what a book can..!